u wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs, full of excitement. somebody is stealing all of your christmas presents. it is jesus. “its my birthday, not yours” he hisses menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms
life hack: break your fucking arm
"yeah i used to like you too"
just chillin with the girlies :))
u should eat those theyre getting brown
how dare you. “they” are my friends. i don’t care what colour they are. brown, yellow, green.. who cares? i don’t judge a book by its cover. they are the sweetest girls i know. they’re tough skinned on the outside but they’re all just big softies on the inside. and um, cannibalism is illegal. this is 2013.
my favorite picture ever
My comeback for everything.